- Are you entering midlife and asking yourself, is this all there is?
- Is your career stalled? Is your long-term marriage growing stale?
- Are you frustrated with the changes to your body and your appearance?
- Do you fear getting older and staying relevant at work and in your social life?
- Are you divorcing, or divorced, and facing the fear of being alone, or the prospect of the dating scene again?
- Did you work hard to have a marriage, a career, a home, and kids, only to feel trapped by these things now?
- Did you work hard climbing the ladder only to find the ladder was leaning against the wrong wall?
- Are you worried about how you'll deal with aging parents, as well as your own health issues?
Maybe it's time for a paradigm shift, when you turn all those old ideas about aging upside down. It's an exciting time we live in -- the new world of the 21st century. It's a time for old ideas to pass away and new ideas to come into play. You can experience the best part of your life, starting now.
5 Keys To Zoom You Into the Joys Of Midlife Changes
Here's the answer: our years don't become different unless we become different. And here's some good news: you can learn to "bloom where you're planted," so to speak, to maximize the potential of today, even while you're trying to wrap your head around the change that just knocked you on your bum.
But you need more than the best of intentions and an iron-clad determination to do things differently. You also have to have a strategy on how to get there AND people to hold you accountable. It's about creating a life with no regrets.
The strategy involves making room for good things to come into your life -- knowing yourself well, managing yourself well, and leading yourself well.
Are you ready to be "out with the old" for good? Ready to super-charge (and take charge of) your life, even though it looks and feels like all hell is breaking loose? You're in luck. Here are five keys to help you get on track to create a joyful, zestful YOU:
1. Be kind and patient with yourself. When you're confused or hurt, all you want is for the cacophony and pain to stop, NOW. I get it. I've been there. But here's what you must remember: change is a process -- the small moves, as well as the big moves; the good times, as well as the tough times -- all are part of the process of evolution. Honor that. Know that no matter how distressing things seem right now, life will evolve and new vistas will appear, provided you are willing to roll up your sleeves and stay open to the possibilities.
2. Be true to yourself. This means making decisions that honor you and what's most important to you. Stop doing things simply to appease your Board of Critics. Realize there's only one person running your show, and only one person who needs your approval: You.
3. Find your "flow". Find a way to bring your signature strengths, personal passions, and natural talents front-and-center in your life. Instead of focusing on things that don't come naturally to you, learn to play to your strengths and use them in new ways. Rediscover what stimulates your deepest passions. Incorporate them into your life again, and really allow yourself to savor that experience. Being in "flow" is optimal to the human condition. Get into it!
4. Exercise resilience. Remember, positive change is a personal choice. Make the decision to rally back. After all, we all fall at some point. It doesn't matter that you fall -- but it does matter that you get back up. The best part is that you don't have to do this alone: fill your days with activities and people you love; they'll be your support system as you rebuild your life. Also, incorporate some type of daily exercise into your life. It's been scientifically proven that our psychology is directly tied to our physiology. In other words, when your body feels better, your mind will feel better, too.
5.Trust your gut. If you think back on the times in your life when you opted not to listen to your instincts -- what happened? What did you learn? Enough said.
Simply put, we all need to enact the "how" to navigate and blossom in the midst of the "what." To quote Wayne Dyer, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." It's time to stop looking at Big Life Changes as an insurmountable obstacle to be suffered through. Change is an opportunity; it can be a real gift. The opportunity is how we effect the change.
Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life
by Richard Rohr