This is a time of great challenge and great opportunity for gays and lesbians. Now is the time to keep pushing forward. In these uncertain times, it's more important than ever to be a healthy, strong individual and a healthy, strong couple.
Are you gay, lesbian, bisexual, or questioning? I provide counseling and psychotherapy for the issues that are specific to the gay and lesbian community. I have over 12 years of experience working closely with gay and lesbian clients and couples in the Long Beach and Orange County areas. Gay and lesbian issues are an area of therapy where finding a therapist you relate to,"click" with, and trust is an even more important and fundamental part of therapy, since it is the foundation for all the work and growth that follows. Lesbian and gay clients can rest assured that they have found a safe, supportive, affirming therapist with me.
One major area of work that I do with clients is helping them to explore, discover, understand and work through their sexuality, where ever they may fall on the spectrum of sexuality. Many clients are now coming to recognize the elements of bisexuality they find within themselves, and they are seeking to understand it better. I also work with many clients who are coming out later in life. Coming out in your 30's, midlife, or beyond is a unique and challenging experience, and I would be honored to help you in this process. Often it means dealing with already being in a heterosexual marriage, and raising kids. You'll need supportive guidance, as well as objective and even strategic feedback to determine how best to go forward.
The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness
I would encourage you to read this troubling but powerful article about the epidemic of gay loneliness that recently appeared on HuffPost. It talks about how even after having made such great strides in society, gay people still suffer disproportionately with depression, anxiety, addiction, and even suicide. It talks about how the chronic stress of growing up gay leaves a deep and lasting imprint, and how the ways gay people learn to cope, such as learning how to lie and hide things, and lash out at other gay people, are carried into our adult, gay lives. The patterns learned in the formative years of identity development carry forward. Turning to Grindr, drugs, and alcohol to fill the inner emptyness only makes the problems worse.
Author Michael Hobbes writes: "Growing up gay, it seems, is bad for you in many of the same ways as growing up in extreme poverty. A 2015 study found that gay people produce less cortisol, the hormone that regulates stress. Their systems were so activated, so constantly, in adolescence that they ended up sluggish as grownups, says Katie McLaughlin, one of the study’s co-authors. In 2014, researchers compared straight and gay teenagers on cardiovascular risk. They found that the gay kids didn’t have a greater number of “stressful life events” (i.e. straight people have problems, too), but the ones they did experience inflicted more harm on their nervous systems."
In the midst of all this frustration and loneliness, what can be done? Where can you turn? There are ways to find something truly better and healthier that produce true and lasting happiness and peace of mind. I would be happy to help with the guidance and support you need. Please feel free to call or email me with any questions you might have about the therapy process.
I'd also like to recommend a new book:
"Frankly My Dear, I'm Gay: The Late Bloomer's Guide to Coming Out," by Rick Clemons.
For more information on my work with gay and lesbian counseling issues, please visit my second website, newcenturycounseling.com.
Are you dealing with any of these issues? I would be happy to help.
- Coming to terms with your sexuality
- Coming out: how, when, and to whom
- Finding a good relationship
- Working through relationship conflicts & difficulties
- Setting the "rules" and dealing with cheating
- Coming out later in life, possibly already married to an opposite-sex spouse & possibly with kids
- Whether or not you should get married to a same-sex partner
- Are you really right for each other? Should you get legally married?
- Depression and anxiety issues
- Self-acceptance and self-confidence
- Feelings of shame, guilt, or low self-esteem
- Feelings of rejection or isolation
- Drugs, alcohol, and codependency
- Finding a partner who wants a long-term relationship
- Mending broken hearts and learning to trust again
- Anger and arguments
- Gay parenting challenges
- Having a healthy, mature, balanced sexuality & sexual expression
- Sorting out issues of faith and spirituality
- Rejection by your church
- Managing difficult relationships with extended family
John McNeill, author: "Since many lesbians and gay men do not have children of their own, they tend to redirect a vast reservoir of unselfish love into the human community. So great is the reservoir that the world could not bear its loss.
Despite their personal suffering, the loving presence of lesbian women and gay men is the oil that keeps the whole human machine running. If, somehow, gay people were to disappear from the scene, the whole human community would be in danger of being seriously dehumanized."
Link to my ad & contact information at the Gay & Lesbian Yellow Pages: